It was Willow. It was always Willow. I didn't know it at the time, but then there were a LOT of things I didn't know back then. Imagine growing up as a supposed heterosexual male and latching onto Xander Harris as your 'identity' character. I mean, it fit who I and society THOUGHT I was: nerdy, awkward, weird and off-putting around girls... Of course it was Xander, who else could it be?